Here we are again, in Penn's woods.  Shall we still call it that?  Of course, the name began the long tradition of cutting down the woods to leave a subdevelopment with a pastoral name reminiscent of the wildness that there once stood.  I feel again the sense of momentum ground to a halt...I have eaten and drank and indulged too much today to relax, to simply exist and enjoy the change of pace.  I am addicted to doing stuff.  As long as I can direct this into productive endeavors, it shouldn't be a a problem.  Right?
Why did I watch that movie?  They all leave me the same, like a woman brought to the brink of orgasm, only to be droppped off again, on the sidewalk in front of her place, sweating and utterly discontented.  It's fascinating, of course, and opens the doors to consideration of alternate realities.  A writer writes his dream girl and she appears, entirely at the whim of his typewriter.  Toy with the ideas of traditional gender roles, control and dominance, expectations, etc.  He, of course, does the right thing and sets her free.  Then meets her in a park later.  Ah movies.
But what's really on my mind.....
Crashing on my brothers couch, I have dreams like...silly old girlfriend wants to get back together.  Read: my long-lost youth seeking out, seeking expression (and reconciliation).  Do I buy a four-wheeler, or what?  I am torn between the world I was raised in--jobs, cars, husbands and wives, family, pissing in a toilet and flushing it down--and the only kind of world that will work--living softly, minimizing my consumption.  As they say,
In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
Ohhhhhhh.  Happy people.  Youthful joy...did I ever possess it, or rather, embody it?  I felt about halfway there during my hedonism years, drinking, eating, smoking, indulging.  When I was with that girl, nothing was off limits, or off the table.  Wait no...not like that.  I just mean that, well, one thousand words on the topic:

 At some point, I became stimulated by the idea of restriction.  I've always sought structure and order for my life.  I considered joining the military.  Instead I rejected the structure for several years, (see pic) before coming back around in the judgmental hippie vegan camp, then eventually eliminating inorganic vegetables, sugar, processed foods--working on minimizing grains right now.  To do more with less--this is the success of all great artists and life livers.  The natural debate that arises is the question of what may or may not be missed in the meantime.  But these material pleasures (?) pale in comparison to the real rewards to be found here in life.  I think.